.......

1.Pissed off a great friend.
2.A good friend's wedding proposal broke off.
3.Mom sends senti msgs to her pissed-off son.
4.Relative diagnosed wid cancer.
5.Challenging history at work...may not last long.
6.Big match tommorrow.
7.Another week....another place...gurgaon...i pray for change!

Its a brand new day!!

So finally my workplace is where i once wanted it to be...Gurgaon. Am excited to a certain extent..yes...but the original reason is no longer.

Nevertheless, it is a welcome sight...a farcry from the residential-plot-for-an-office somewhere in the lonely lanes of an industrial area in Noida, the massive corporate building itself makes you feel you're doing somethin worthwhile...not to mention catching a glimpse of the superstars of our profession...men, whose legendary exploits are spoken of in pure awe by us commoners! And for the cherry on the cake, there are people...yes people...dressed like us...of the same age...shiny happy people...working in the same building!!

Finally it feels i'm starting somewhere on that great corporate ladder...

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

my immortal..

...trying hard to hold myself together just for the sake of appearances; i'm too reticent to breakdown in public...but it would take not more than a gust of air to push me over the edge.

The voice makes me sigh, the thoughts make my head spin in slow agony. Am i really so evil that hell seems to have begun early, while i'm still alive??...or perhaps i'm alive only in name, there isn't anything i want to live to fight for...


PS. Fab trip to Goa...but lets just save the happiness for another post...

The Day that wasn't meant to be...

So i return to write again after a long time, now without apologies for the irregularity...its easy for me to realise i write only when compelled or moved by somethin deeply (emotionally, for the most part..). However, if that be my argument, then i contradict myself coz what has transpired in the past two months has been that one big event that has left an indelible void in my existence.

It isn't easy, i'm not fine, i'm not ok....heck, i won't be...ever...i don't think i'm capable. Its just that decisions have been made...how they affect me is irrelevant. There is no angst i wish to express...there is grief, entirely my own...i'l hav to live with that.

i write this post midnight, but then someone pointed out that it isn't the same time everywhere...let us then stay in the day that was/is..

it was meant to be special...it was meant to be celebrated...it had been prepared for many months in advance...a performance...a reminiscence...a serenade...

...guess i'l be on my own humming some sad song while my guitar gently weeps...

I like to pretend that evrythin is alright...coz wen everybody else thinks ur fine,u forget for a while that ur not..

time for some Blues...

To give a background of events i'm gonna talk bout, we go back to 28 Apr, Champions League semifinal, Barcelona Vs Chelsea at the Nou Camp which ended 0-0.

And it is imperative that i post this before the second leg of the semi, coz honestly, i think it would be nothing short of a miracle if we survive the Barca onslaught once again, hence, i'm currently in a slightly better position to handle the criticism.

So the night ended level for the stylish B and not-so-beautiful C, which disappointed football fans across clubs n countries, except perhaps the Blues. Legends of the game and managers went on record to say that they were appalled by the quality of football(the lack of it, rather) they witnessed in that match. Barca players groaned that they weren't two teams on the pitch that night....n so on...

Now for my opinion...and i'm glad i've found support in one non-Chelsea football lover..
*Barca have scored at every game played at Nou Camp this season, until Chelsea
*they have scored 100 goals in 34 matches in Primera Liga, this season
*they have scored 29 goals in 10 matches in Champions League, this year

so i would like to point out, very humbly, that the team which scores almost 3 goals per game on average, wasn't allowed a single goal against Chelsea.

Barca currently are the most fearsome attack in the game, they make the best of teams look like a bunch of schoolkids....goalscoring is for fun and its not bout will they or won't they score....its about how many can they possibly score....winning against them is not by playing beautiful football, its by not letting them play beautiful....it is folly to think anyone can match them. It is likely that we head to our doom tomorrow night, but atleast we made the second leg of some consequence! Remember Bayern?? 4-0 in d first leg...no chance of return.

We have to admit that Chelsea played to stop them, they played to shake the Barca tempo, they played to shackle Messi n Henry....they played it smart!! NOT NEGATIVE. It was a tactic that the 'great team' was unable to break. Period.

Football is not all about playin stylish n scoring aplenty, if that were the case, we would be switching club support every year, depending on who's peaking then. The game does not necessarily require the 'Joga Bonito' all the time...sometimes it simply has to be played with intelligence.



"All warfare is based on deception. If your enemy is superior, evade him. If angry, irritate him. If equally matched, fight and if not: split and re-evaluate"....The Art Of War

Platoon

Inspired once again to awaken from the stupor, the laptop propped up at a curious angle on my midriff whilst lying in bed at 2am, i'm determined to post something remotely interesting to the 'chosen' few followers of this blog and unsurprisingly it is taking me an awfully long time to find suitable topics to ramble on.

Well it was goodbye 2008 and welcome 2009, and the transition was absolutely crazily fabulous(an odyssey really!)...a night to remember...truly magical...and a magical first day of the year. Could we have asked for more?? A great 2009...one that makes the previous years together seem pale in comparison! Amen.

The new year also brings winds of change at the workplace(not necessarily positive, might i add)...putting to rest the fears and apprehensions of Deadly December, a confirmed Derivative Trader i now am, raising new concerns about Jinxed Jan, Fearsome Feb, Monstrous March etc. etc. till i last. A prayer somewhere out there may make them Jumbo Jan, Freeflow Feb....i keep my fingers crossed! :)


The one message amidst the hectic schedule is cherished...days n days of staying hidden require one loooong revelation and i know its soon. :)


A final note on three books i read recently: Aravind Adiga's White Tiger is absolutely breathtaking....'remorseless' to quote a reviewer...an absolute must-read. Khaled Husseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns was drab, a far-cry from the stunning KiteRunner. And the worst of the lot, The Inheritance Of Loss(attesting my conviction that Booker Prize does not pick the best..remember Life Of Pi?)...it starts of well, and then...is an ordeal to finish off.

Maybe you and I
Could pack our bags and hit the sky

Then fly away from here
Anywhere, Yeah, I don't care